12 April 2008
all the best everyone
09 April 2008
exam mood-ting tong-chenta chenta
03 April 2008
i'm proud
25 February 2008
The article that makes me cries
So last month I read an article by Dr. Rozieta Shaari, a motivator, who writes a column ‘rahsia cemerlang’ in that magazine. I forget the title though. She wrote that, during her wedding, her father looked sad and gloomy. She didn’t know the reasons. But she wondered whether her father didn’t like her choice of man or he didn’t want her to get married. She didn’t understand the reasons. Her father was supposed to be happy and delighted that his daughter is getting married and will never become a burden to the family anymore. She didn’t question her father but after almost 20 years of marriage she finally found the answer.
It is her daughter who will get marry and now her husband looks worry, sad and gloomy. Then she understands, its not that his husband don’t like their daughter to get married. Instead, he’s worried of some other things. Whether that guy who just know her daughter for a couple of years will love her the way he do. He questioned himself whether that guy will starve just to let her daughter to eat? Will he work all days and night just to make sure his daughter live comfortably? Will he be patient with her daughter? Will that guy do what he had done in order to protect his daughter? All of these makes him worried and thus looks as he hates the marriage to go on. After cherishing his daughter with all of his love for many years, he now had to let go his daughter to a man who just know his daughter. It is hard for him but he knows he had to do it. Their daughter has grown up and will have her own family. Together with the new guy, they will try to build what she and her husband built, a FAMILY. They will have their own responsibilities. Soon they will have their own children and will also feel the same things.
What makes me sad was to think that my father might also think the same things. Now when ever my Sayang calls my Abah, he will somehow answer like he hated him. I used to wonder and question myself the same thing. But after reading that article, I cried and understand the reason why he acted that way. I changed my perception towards my Abah. May be he felt the same thing about my Sayang. Abah might not hate my Sayang but he’s wondering whether my Sayang can take care of me just the way he did.
May be u didn’t cry after reading this. May be I just had a sensitive heart and soul. But somehow with that article I learned that even though Abah is cold, answering ‘ehemm’ with all of my stories and sometime ignoring my questions, I know that it is just his way of loving. May be he just don’t want to revealed his true feeling. May be he just don’t wanna show how he felt. Any way, I love u Abah. I might not say it to your face. But I do. I really do. And I love u to Mama. Thank for taking care of me, for being patient with my unstable emotions, for supporting every single steps that I had taken, for giving useful advices that make who I am today, for EVERYTHING. I LOVE BOTH of U with ALL my heart. THANK U!
my dearest mama and abah
Sayang, I hope our love will end with a knot that not just will cause us to have to see each others face until we die. But it’s a knot that makes us ONE where we will have to learn on making decisions and everything together. It’s a relation that let us to accept each other for whom we are and what we will be. It let us learn to respect each other. I hope we can get through it even though we are not even near it yet. I love u Sayang. Always do!
20 February 2008
meaning of true shopaholic
can shopping calmed u??
i guess i wasnt a true shopaholic if i had that feelings rite?! i dont know!!! watching my friends grabbing, and pulling the shirts from pile of more shirts with tags of 50%. i wasnt sure wether i should do the same.well tat is what i used to be.digging and digging.hunting for places with big 50%tags on it.making decisions in like less than 5seconds. and spending on tat i'd already got. but at tat moment this intuition cause me to just stand there and look at my friends. even my angah was going crazy over the sales there (which was very weird for someone named angah!!.sorry angah)
anyway. can i say tat i hv REAL shopaholic friends.hehe.sya n nody.its a compliment for u girls actually
am i??!!
what makes me feel this way.am i getting more matture in making judgement in my life.i still wonder myself.
i just hope that feeling can actually help me to save some money.i should learn on how to manage my finances.instead of going shopping and spending all of my money. so tat in future i wont be spending all of my salary juz for shoppin.i should be more mature as i will have my own family later right. can u imagine me still a shopaholic married to another shopaholic husband.how are we suppose to manage our family.
but still tat moment didnt last for so long.when we were in mid valley.i made a quick decision on buying a pair of rm215 skechers (which im wearing rite now).why wasnt that intuition come again at that time.arghh!! i thought im getting more matured.what a lie! . after paying for the shoes, my heart felt it again.it was saying is it worth for u to buy shoes with that price.its juz gona stay at ur feet.n ur feet not gaoing to say thank u noorole.for buying me such a lovely shoes.(i think i heard my feet saying thank u for buying such a shoes for them before i paid.but why cant i hear it now).luckily, i made a right decisions.that shoes was a heavenly for my feet.i didnt feel that pain on my heels when standing anymore. but wearing tat shoes makes me feel worried everytime i'd to take out before going into the mussola or mosgque. im afraid some one will steal them.hehe..now i wonder on how long will this shoes last
a true shopaholic wont be doubting with feeling of guilty after they buy something. maybe they wil.but not for long. plus. they'l buy things that they alreary had.like shoes,shoes and shoes. they'll have things with price tags on, not scheduled to be wear at anytime soon.
i dont think im a true one right now.the feeling is there. but im tryingmy best to at least reconsider before actually buying something.hope i can hold this feeling.
my weakness for now is food.ican still get over it.if it is spending money for foods.then i didnt even care how much i'l have to pay.as long as im satisfied with it.can it be considered as a shopaholic or foodaholic.hehe..
17 February 2008
kay-el! shopping...eating...everything
i feeel like buying anything under the sun. but i guess i can still control my eagerness to shop n juz buy buy n buy.hehe.but on that trip i realized that my dearie friends sya n nodi are much much more true shopaholic than me.hehe.sorry girls.thats juz how i felt that day.
anyway.kl is not a place for living.juz like wat my syg said.u can go there sometym.shopping like crazy.eat like theres no more food. but u juz cant stay there. it was too hectic for me.eventhough i like urban life.i dont think i can manage the stress of traffic jam, waiting for the busses.n plus the food there are much much more expensive then what i can find in sp.
i feel great im staying in sp.
we went to sunway. n it was suck. it was not a place for a muslim like me.im not making a statement tat im a very2 religious person. its juz tat i felt disrespect when i'd paid the same amount like others but was not allow to go on the slides.juz becos im not wearing shorts.wut a reasons.for me sunway is not a place to have fun.huhu
11 February 2008
pro pro pro
10 October 2007
celebrating raya
tok juz went through an operation to remove her cataract.its a minor surgery but i still hope everything will be fine. i hope she's able to c clearly by the time raya came.
hm.this year i got to celebrate raya with all those new -special people in my life.
adik hezryn, adik arash..and sayang who i love with all my heart
to all my friends who's celebrating raya far far away from this country. enjoy ur raya there. not every yr we got to celebrate raya elsewhere.plus, i will miss u guys so much.
fathiah,ida,fina,and many more.
25 September 2007
right now all i can say is that im so happy to have him with me. thanx dear!!
14 May 2007
The Confident that I Gain
It might not be a big thing to certain people but for me it is a pretty big thing. As i never had the courage to do such thing. I don't know why I feel so scared standing in front of people. I don't feel confident because i'm not smart, not pretty and not good in english. I'm scared that I will stumb during the presentation. I'm scared that I will look stupid in front of other people. I'm scared that people will not understand what I'm trying to tell them.

I wanna be brave and to be able to speak in front of people
I thought about the clinical year where we are suppose to present our case in front several doctors ALONE. It was quite scary. Therefore, I took the chance to embrace myself with this experience. I want to get myself ready. I want to gain the confident. I don't want to feel scared anymore. I want that courage.

I wanna be confident
Eventhough Nasyitah was there, and the lecture theatre was pretty small. I still feel satisfied after doing it. There was a saying, 'your enemy is your greatest fear', that's what making me feel so eager on doing the presentation. And I am not ashamed to say that I feel proud of myself. In the future, I'm hoping that I'll be more confident to do it. You are not suppose to feel scare of anyone and anything beside ALLAH. That's also the reason why i feel so eager to do it again later.
'Ya ALLAH please let me gain the confident. I'm not trying to be over confident, I wanna be moderate, like U always want us to be. AMIN'
11 May 2007
Lazyness
So, i browse through the internet for infomation on spirolina. Wether i t had any side effects and so. I found out a lot of thing. The thing about internet is that u never know which infomation u should take, and which one u should discard. Therefore, i still don't know wether i will try on spirolina because i came across a facts that it contains dirt from insects and so. I don't know wether it's true or not. But i'm still considering it. I got exhausted too easily, and i think i need help. Can anyone help??!!
21 April 2007
the thing about exam
the whole week was full with studying, no tv, no shopping, no nothing. luckily my room got full internet coverage. at least i did not feel so 'katak di bwh tempurung' at this time.
anyway, that was one of the reason why i am not studying right now.hehehe.. so busy with the internet.
hopefully luck is on my site right now.
13 March 2007
xpdc gunung tebu
anyway, back to the story. after preparing and building up the tent. we sit around the fire and begin to introduce ourself, telling and sharing our goals on joining the camping. after that we were introduce by bro muz to the hiking bag, which was amazingly HUGE and expensive (i can by a new handphone with that money). he tought us on how to choose the correct hiking bag, how to actually arrange your thing and the right way to carry that big bag behind tour bag without hurting yourself. the correct way of carrying the bag, made someone as small as moon to actually carry a 50kg things. before this i dont know anything about the bag.
we were also introduce to the basic things that u should bring when u want to go hiking. the fact is the longer u wanna stay there the less thing u should bring. interesting huh!! we were also thought on how to set the lamp used incamping. it was a complete different from the usual lamp u use where u just plug it into the point and boom the light is on. then we shared the stories and all the adventurous experiences from the seniors, ghani, bob and abg z. i was so interested in all their stories because i never thought that medical students actually have the time to do all this and have fun. i only know that medical students are completely associated with books and only books.
finally we were divided into groups. these groups were for the food preparation. i end up in the same group with ad, acap, rupesh and wan. COOK??!! ME?!! haha... sounds so not right. each group were asked to send one representative as cook aka chef. =P. as for my group ad was given the trust to be the cook. all the cook were thought to cook in small tin known as mass tin (which i dont know how to spell).
at that night we were not allowed to sleep in the tent. instead we were given one piece of plastic ( 2 people share for girls) and were asked to use that thing as our mat. as for the girls they were asked to choose partners for the so called "Solo Camp". and i was so lucky that i dont have any partner. therefore i was given the chance to help ad to cook for the group. (thank God)
at that nite, we the 'CHEF' cooked nasi using tea as a timer (those who had the experience on camping will know what i mean). the first round was pretty bad for everyone, i guess bro muz was given the wrong instruction.hehe. then the next round everyone had become so good that even plain rice tasted so good (BODEK ad) hehe. i was asked to fry some instant cucur. i was so impressed looking at amin( the only guy chef there). he was so into the cooking that he looked so passionate doing it (u r lucky mimi). ain fried some murtabak maggie which was so tasty it made bro muz cry.haha. (no la, i was just joking). i had a lot of fun
finally we were asked to go to sleep, so that we can had enough rest before the long journey tomorrow. as we were the cook. we were given chanced to sleep inside the tent. LUCKILY!! some how the what so call the comfie tent cant actually made me slept. i was so disturbed by the cold weather and the loud voices from bob and daoh( why you guys sembang so loud!! ) before i could really felt asleep i was waoken by ain at 6 to go fried all the nasi. AIYAK!! as a resposible cook, me and sya woke up without much any hestitation(muahaha..tipu!!).we fried nasi goreng, did some scrambled egg, and packed up some mackerel sandwiches for lunch. finally we did it.
by 0900, after eating and peeing(=P) we packed our stuff and ready to go up up away. we did 'some' warming up activities then start hiking mount tebu at 0930. we were so amazed by the undisturbed river. the river was so clean that it look so blue green. so naturally peaceful. i love it and thanx Allah that i was given chance to observe His beautiful creation. the journey took 2 hours for my team la( which consist of sya, ika, ad, nodi and me). i was so tired that i felt like my heart bursting =( how old i felt at that time. we took our own sweet time during the journey
(taking pictures,drink,rest,drink againg,rest again, so tired lor) that the sweapers daoh and bro khairi leaved us with ijam. (apala, they were supposed to make sure we didnt lost)
when we arrived at batu mad saman everybody was already there. waiting us while eating and resting. i was so tired that i idnt even had the energy to eat. after about 1 hour resting up there we went down. this time much faster than during ascending the mount. we only took 45 minutes before we found a waterfall and swam there( i was so refreshing) all the sweats and 'nice ' smell were gone.
around 1500 we were all ready to go home back to our lovely health campus in kubang kerian. leaving besut and gunung tebu with a lots of great memories and experiences. after taking the big group picture we naik bus. i was so tired that i felt asleep along the way back to usm didnt even disturbed by the laughs and jokes made by dearest colleagues.
i was so happy that i had the chance to learned all this from the seniors. love them for being so friendly and supportive.
08 March 2007
always & forever

27 February 2007
We WON!!
the cheer team also won first place. beating all of other cheer team from other desa. they were so cute and energetic. i wonder what they ate until they become so energized like that. i guess it was because all of the winning and the gold medals that we 'd won.dr. nurin, kak syikin, tuan hj, and dr ahmad were so supportive at that time. i wish i will had the chance to attend tot again next year. may be not as an athelete but maybe as supporter only.the spirit never dies in us. eventhough we are so busy with classes and lab works. we still manage to spend our time for our desa tercinta...
02 February 2007
best friend
a person who never lie when everybody in the world is lying to u
a person who support u from every aspects but never fail to give u advice when u are at the wrong path
i dont know who is my best friend. because it seems that sometimes i feel like i had so many friends. but sometimes i feel like i'm all alone.
my best friend fathiah is going to brisbane australia this february 12 to further her study. she's going to return to malaysia as a very good english teacher. with a very weird accent.hehe. i pray to Allah thah she'll succeed and help me with my english. cos i really suck in that language. i'm going to miss her.
my best friend khaleelah, is studying in uitm shah alam. she's going to finish her study soon. also as a very good english XX. i dont know what she'll be. but all i know is she had been very good in that stream since we are still in school. i hope to see her this holiday. we are too busy on our study that we only had chance to see each other and catch up everything during holiday. 'miss ya dude'
my best friend nab, is studying somewhere in Ipoh. she's going to be a doctor soon. and i'm going to be her patient.hehe.hopefully she will be able to manage with all the stress as a medical student. i understand on what u are goin through. "gambattei nab"
my best friend watai, is studying in upsi. i won't see her for decades if there is no hari raya. bcos that's the only day where i can go to her house and eat evrything that her mom cook. she has become very stylish nowadays. completely different from the person she used to be. "people change right?!"
my best friend jenna. is in australia now. she's doin some business. the last thing i heard about her is that she had a spa there. she's very good in dealing with money since school. hope i'll be as fortunate as her. "sorry dear for missing our last date"
my friend ida, is going to ausie to. she's very good in english. no doubt about it. everyone was jealous at her during school. she had this australian accent which was hard to understand. "long time i didnt c u la"
my friend anith, somehow is unable to be reach since school finished. the last thing i heard about her was, she's studying dentistry in UKM. i know u r busy dude.
my friends ana, is in selangor now, very pretty, very cute now. she had change a lot too. but she also is very hard to reach.
as day goes by, i finally realize that everything around me is changing. my best frineds change too. they seem different, more matture, more sophisticated and much more pretty than during schools time. suddenly i realize, that i'm still the same person. still wearing that old jeans without any make up sticking on my face. i wonder do we really have to look like an adult to b matture. or is it as we get older we eat different rice then the rice wa ate during teenagers. i wonder why change. in my heart, i know that changes are good, changing from bad to good a great. and i'm hoping somehow people will only change that way. and i hope my friends too.
knowing that some of my friends, which i cannot mention their names, had change from a very innocent person to a person i barely know. make me sad. i hope they'll find the right path, the right destination, the right life. i hope they'll realize what they did was wrong.
actually, i'm missing all of my friends right now...
kelly,nab,fathiah, watai,ida,jenna,yin,thivya,ana,jolynn and all members of 5J
wan,zai,tihah,chombi
nona,syipak,ef,sal,ein,syira,fana,
haryati,dalina
-FRIENDSHIP NEVER DIES-
24 January 2007
SMAKIN HARI SMAKIN MALAS!!
knapa ek? asik nak tidoq j. kalau bley xnak bukak mata pagi2. xnak p lecture.
knapa ek? mls nya Ya Allah. apa benda la dah lekat kat mata aku nie. sampai susah sgt nak bukak. nasib baik bley smyg. ada gak sbb aku nak bgn. kalau x.ntah la.
knapa ek?
mls nak pgi silat
mls nak bsh baju
mls nak wat report
mls nak p klinikal
mls nak bergerak
nak makan pun mls
nasib baik perut aku yg smmgnya aktif nie berjoget2 mtk di isi.
knapa ek? dulu2 xla smls mcm nie. ada ja org nak membakar smgt yg smmg nya dah membara nie. cuma recently. api smgt tu dah malap.
knapa ek?xdak ke sapa2 yg bley atasi mslh aku yg sedia kronik nie.
13 January 2007
blogging?!
i know that lotsa my friends didnt really have time to blog. but me too didnt have time. but still i manage to curi some time to at least write and express my feeling.
actually i wrote this blog because i cant actually tag along my friends' blog to mine as there are only a few.huh..if only they know how much fun it is to blog. itd like having a diary but others can read it. more like a journal to me

