celebrating raya

selamat hari raya to everyone.maaf zhr batin.im hoping for a blissful raya..full with happiness and forgiveness
tok juz went through an operation to remove her cataract.its a minor surgery but i still hope everything will be fine. i hope she's able to c clearly by the time raya came.
hm.this year i got to celebrate raya with all those new -special people in my life.
adik hezryn, adik arash..and sayang who i love with all my heart
to all my friends who's celebrating raya far far away from this country. enjoy ur raya there. not every yr we got to celebrate raya elsewhere.plus, i will miss u guys so much.
fathiah,ida,fina,and many more.

i havent been updating my blog for a really long time.eventhough no one read it.huhu..
right now all i can say is that im so happy to have him with me. thanx dear!!

The Confident that I Gain

I did it!! What did I do?? Actually, I finally had the courage to talk in front of people. Although there were only 60 people, but i feel so proud of myself. It is the most scary thing that I ever think of doing.
It might not be a big thing to certain people but for me it is a pretty big thing. As i never had the courage to do such thing. I don't know why I feel so scared standing in front of people. I don't feel confident because i'm not smart, not pretty and not good in english. I'm scared that I will stumb during the presentation. I'm scared that I will look stupid in front of other people. I'm scared that people will not understand what I'm trying to tell them.

I wanna be brave and to be able to speak in front of people

Yesterday I did it, Nasyitah and I had represent my group to present the oral diagnosis seminar. Initially, i wasn't the one selected for the presentation. It was someone else. But due to symphaty and empathy to my dearest friend who was not ready to speak in front of everyone, I voluntered myself to do it. I was so scared at first. I feel inferior that people will judge me ( as there were also great presenter in my group ) but somewhere somehow i got the courage to actually do it. It was the clinical year who make me feel so encouraged to do it.
I thought about the clinical year where we are suppose to present our case in front several doctors ALONE. It was quite scary. Therefore, I took the chance to embrace myself with this experience. I want to get myself ready. I want to gain the confident. I don't want to feel scared anymore. I want that courage.

I wanna be confident

Eventhough Nasyitah was there, and the lecture theatre was pretty small. I still feel satisfied after doing it. There was a saying, 'your enemy is your greatest fear', that's what making me feel so eager on doing the presentation. And I am not ashamed to say that I feel proud of myself. In the future, I'm hoping that I'll be more confident to do it. You are not suppose to feel scare of anyone and anything beside ALLAH. That's also the reason why i feel so eager to do it again later.
'Ya ALLAH please let me gain the confident. I'm not trying to be over confident, I wanna be moderate, like U always want us to be. AMIN'

Lazyness

i have been very lazy lately. i don't even know why. i'd asked several of my friends wether they had the cure for my disease. any drug, any vitamin that can work. and then i came across i one my friend's friend. she introduced me spirolina. she claimed that this thing can make u feel more energetic and cure the 'disease' that i had.
So, i browse through the internet for infomation on spirolina. Wether i t had any side effects and so. I found out a lot of thing. The thing about internet is that u never know which infomation u should take, and which one u should discard. Therefore, i still don't know wether i will try on spirolina because i came across a facts that it contains dirt from insects and so. I don't know wether it's true or not. But i'm still considering it. I got exhausted too easily, and i think i need help. Can anyone help??!!

the thing about exam

ONE DAY BEFORE MY EXAM. and here i am, updating my blog. i hate study week. i know that tis is the time for us to cover everything up before the real exam. it's juast that revising and doing nothing but study make me bored.
the whole week was full with studying, no tv, no shopping, no nothing. luckily my room got full internet coverage. at least i did not feel so 'katak di bwh tempurung' at this time.
anyway, that was one of the reason why i am not studying right now.hehehe.. so busy with the internet.

i hope i can do better this time (everyone!! please pray for me) compare to the last exam which was a total SUCK!!
hopefully luck is on my site right now.

if somehow i am not lucky again. i hope i'll in the professional 2.

please pray for me ya all!!

xpdc gunung tebu

last weekend, i had a great chance to go camping andhiking with the seniors and some of my friends. the camping was held at Lata Belantan camping site. we went there by bus and arrive just about magrib. we were so scared there'll be a lot of mosquetoes that we bought mosq patches from guardian. believe it, it did worked. thanx to the thing that managed to protect us from all the hunry insects.
anyway, back to the story. after preparing and building up the tent. we sit around the fire and begin to introduce ourself, telling and sharing our goals on joining the camping. after that we were introduce by bro muz to the hiking bag, which was amazingly HUGE and expensive (i can by a new handphone with that money). he tought us on how to choose the correct hiking bag, how to actually arrange your thing and the right way to carry that big bag behind tour bag without hurting yourself. the correct way of carrying the bag, made someone as small as moon to actually carry a 50kg things. before this i dont know anything about the bag.
we were also introduce to the basic things that u should bring when u want to go hiking. the fact is the longer u wanna stay there the less thing u should bring. interesting huh!! we were also thought on how to set the lamp used incamping. it was a complete different from the usual lamp u use where u just plug it into the point and boom the light is on. then we shared the stories and all the adventurous experiences from the seniors, ghani, bob and abg z. i was so interested in all their stories because i never thought that medical students actually have the time to do all this and have fun. i only know that medical students are completely associated with books and only books.
finally we were divided into groups. these groups were for the food preparation. i end up in the same group with ad, acap, rupesh and wan. COOK??!! ME?!! haha... sounds so not right. each group were asked to send one representative as cook aka chef. =P. as for my group ad was given the trust to be the cook. all the cook were thought to cook in small tin known as mass tin (which i dont know how to spell).
at that night we were not allowed to sleep in the tent. instead we were given one piece of plastic ( 2 people share for girls) and were asked to use that thing as our mat. as for the girls they were asked to choose partners for the so called "Solo Camp". and i was so lucky that i dont have any partner. therefore i was given the chance to help ad to cook for the group. (thank God)
at that nite, we the 'CHEF' cooked nasi using tea as a timer (those who had the experience on camping will know what i mean). the first round was pretty bad for everyone, i guess bro muz was given the wrong instruction.hehe. then the next round everyone had become so good that even plain rice tasted so good (BODEK ad) hehe. i was asked to fry some instant cucur. i was so impressed looking at amin( the only guy chef there). he was so into the cooking that he looked so passionate doing it (u r lucky mimi). ain fried some murtabak maggie which was so tasty it made bro muz cry.haha. (no la, i was just joking). i had a lot of fun
finally we were asked to go to sleep, so that we can had enough rest before the long journey tomorrow. as we were the cook. we were given chanced to sleep inside the tent. LUCKILY!! some how the what so call the comfie tent cant actually made me slept. i was so disturbed by the cold weather and the loud voices from bob and daoh( why you guys sembang so loud!! ) before i could really felt asleep i was waoken by ain at 6 to go fried all the nasi. AIYAK!! as a resposible cook, me and sya woke up without much any hestitation(muahaha..tipu!!).we fried nasi goreng, did some scrambled egg, and packed up some mackerel sandwiches for lunch. finally we did it.
by 0900, after eating and peeing(=P) we packed our stuff and ready to go up up away. we did 'some' warming up activities then start hiking mount tebu at 0930. we were so amazed by the undisturbed river. the river was so clean that it look so blue green. so naturally peaceful. i love it and thanx Allah that i was given chance to observe His beautiful creation. the journey took 2 hours for my team la( which consist of sya, ika, ad, nodi and me). i was so tired that i felt like my heart bursting =( how old i felt at that time. we took our own sweet time during the journey

(taking pictures,drink,rest,drink againg,rest again, so tired lor) that the sweapers daoh and bro khairi leaved us with ijam. (apala, they were supposed to make sure we didnt lost)
when we arrived at batu mad saman everybody was already there. waiting us while eating and resting. i was so tired that i idnt even had the energy to eat. after about 1 hour resting up there we went down. this time much faster than during ascending the mount. we only took 45 minutes before we found a waterfall and swam there( i was so refreshing) all the sweats and 'nice ' smell were gone.
around 1500 we were all ready to go home back to our lovely health campus in kubang kerian. leaving besut and gunung tebu with a lots of great memories and experiences. after taking the big group picture we naik bus. i was so tired that i felt asleep along the way back to usm didnt even disturbed by the laughs and jokes made by dearest colleagues.
i was so happy that i had the chance to learned all this from the seniors. love them for being so friendly and supportive.

always & forever

sometime u got this feeling that people are ignoring u. leaving u behind and not sharing infomation with u. sometime u feel like u dont have any friends. no one there to share all the secrets and gossips with u.

but is that true. are they ignoring u. or perhaps u just want too much attention from them. which for sure they can't be bother to give. especially if u never do the same thing to them.

actually i'm writing this because sometime i do feel that way. i feel ignored by my friends. but should i aspect so much from all friends. especially when we are very busy with our own life.

so, instead of being mad, i think we should be more understanding. it doesn't matter wether u want more attention from your friends, boyfriend, family or anyone. u should understand that your not the only person who need attention. may be there are people that need it more.

that's all i wanted to say actually. being understanding sounds easy, but u will never know how hard it can be unless u are in the person's shoes. hm.. i've make u confused right?! but that's all i can think about right now.

up there i've uploaded a poem which sounds nice to me..

We WON!!

we actually won the TOT. eventhough i am not an athlete. but i was a part of it as also happend to join the kawad team. eventhough we only manage to get second place. but the spirit that lies in us never actually gone with the result. OMEDETO to all of MURNI NURANI atheletes.
the cheer team also won first place. beating all of other cheer team from other desa. they were so cute and energetic. i wonder what they ate until they become so energized like that. i guess it was because all of the winning and the gold medals that we 'd won.dr. nurin, kak syikin, tuan hj, and dr ahmad were so supportive at that time. i wish i will had the chance to attend tot again next year. may be not as an athelete but maybe as supporter only.the spirit never dies in us. eventhough we are so busy with classes and lab works. we still manage to spend our time for our desa tercinta...

WE ARE M.U.R.N.I N.U.RA.N.I..the best among the rest,,,

hebat sokmo menae sengoti ( which mean hebat slalu, memang menang--> sort of la)

best friend

a best friend is a person who is always there for u
a person who never lie when everybody in the world is lying to u
a person who support u from every aspects but never fail to give u advice when u are at the wrong path
i dont know who is my best friend. because it seems that sometimes i feel like i had so many friends. but sometimes i feel like i'm all alone.
my best friend fathiah is going to brisbane australia this february 12 to further her study. she's going to return to malaysia as a very good english teacher. with a very weird accent.hehe. i pray to Allah thah she'll succeed and help me with my english. cos i really suck in that language. i'm going to miss her.
my best friend khaleelah, is studying in uitm shah alam. she's going to finish her study soon. also as a very good english XX. i dont know what she'll be. but all i know is she had been very good in that stream since we are still in school. i hope to see her this holiday. we are too busy on our study that we only had chance to see each other and catch up everything during holiday. 'miss ya dude'
my best friend nab, is studying somewhere in Ipoh. she's going to be a doctor soon. and i'm going to be her patient.hehe.hopefully she will be able to manage with all the stress as a medical student. i understand on what u are goin through. "gambattei nab"
my best friend watai, is studying in upsi. i won't see her for decades if there is no hari raya. bcos that's the only day where i can go to her house and eat evrything that her mom cook. she has become very stylish nowadays. completely different from the person she used to be. "people change right?!"
my best friend jenna. is in australia now. she's doin some business. the last thing i heard about her is that she had a spa there. she's very good in dealing with money since school. hope i'll be as fortunate as her. "sorry dear for missing our last date"
my friend ida, is going to ausie to. she's very good in english. no doubt about it. everyone was jealous at her during school. she had this australian accent which was hard to understand. "long time i didnt c u la"
my friend anith, somehow is unable to be reach since school finished. the last thing i heard about her was, she's studying dentistry in UKM. i know u r busy dude.
my friends ana, is in selangor now, very pretty, very cute now. she had change a lot too. but she also is very hard to reach.
as day goes by, i finally realize that everything around me is changing. my best frineds change too. they seem different, more matture, more sophisticated and much more pretty than during schools time. suddenly i realize, that i'm still the same person. still wearing that old jeans without any make up sticking on my face. i wonder do we really have to look like an adult to b matture. or is it as we get older we eat different rice then the rice wa ate during teenagers. i wonder why change. in my heart, i know that changes are good, changing from bad to good a great. and i'm hoping somehow people will only change that way. and i hope my friends too.
knowing that some of my friends, which i cannot mention their names, had change from a very innocent person to a person i barely know. make me sad. i hope they'll find the right path, the right destination, the right life. i hope they'll realize what they did was wrong.
actually, i'm missing all of my friends right now...

kelly,nab,fathiah, watai,ida,jenna,yin,thivya,ana,jolynn and all members of 5J

wan,zai,tihah,chombi
nona,syipak,ef,sal,ein,syira,fana,
haryati,dalina
-FRIENDSHIP NEVER DIES-

nodi and sya~may our friendship last forever

SMAKIN HARI SMAKIN MALAS!!

knapa ek? apa ubat mls yer? dah puas aku usaha still malas gila. doa anti malas pon xberkesan. npk sgt xkusyuk waktu doa. xbersungguh.
knapa ek? asik nak tidoq j. kalau bley xnak bukak mata pagi2. xnak p lecture.
knapa ek? mls nya Ya Allah. apa benda la dah lekat kat mata aku nie. sampai susah sgt nak bukak. nasib baik bley smyg. ada gak sbb aku nak bgn. kalau x.ntah la.
knapa ek?
mls nak pgi silat
mls nak bsh baju
mls nak wat report
mls nak p klinikal
mls nak bergerak
nak makan pun mls
nasib baik perut aku yg smmgnya aktif nie berjoget2 mtk di isi.
knapa ek? dulu2 xla smls mcm nie. ada ja org nak membakar smgt yg smmg nya dah membara nie. cuma recently. api smgt tu dah malap.
knapa ek?xdak ke sapa2 yg bley atasi mslh aku yg sedia kronik nie.

blogging?!

why izzzit juz some of my friend love blogging. cant they c the goo d thing about blogging.at least they can express themself. there was a saying malay "mata pencil itu lebey tajam dr sebilah pedang" so in this case its typing the words.not writting em.

i know that lotsa my friends didnt really have time to blog. but me too didnt have time. but still i manage to curi some time to at least write and express my feeling.

actually i wrote this blog because i cant actually tag along my friends' blog to mine as there are only a few.huh..if only they know how much fun it is to blog. itd like having a diary but others can read it. more like a journal to me

am i a LOSER?!

am i a loser? do i talk to much? do i get mad easily? do people hate me for being bossy? do i speak too loud? actually, i dont know. i dont think i know myself. someone just told me tat i talk too much. it made me sad actually. hm.. idont know. perhaps, being in girls skool for so long has created who i am today. i never care about others.

tp ya allah kenapa skrg diri ini mudah sgt utk tersentuh. mudah sgt utk menangis. even kan jerkah dgn doctor skt pon, rasa sdey sgt. td kna marah lg. aku tau tat's my fault, tp i'm not a child anymore to be yelled like that. tak kan aku nak ubah diri aku. aku dah mcm ni sjk dulu lg. for over 20 years i'e been leaving the WAY I AM.

hm..aku pon xtau apa yg aku tgh merapu. but i know tat aku rasa jauh hati sgt skg. sjk dulu if aku mrjuk. xnah ada org nak pujuk. dulu masa kecik2 mitak buku crita mama xbg, aku kata xmo blk, mama pon tinggal ja aku kat situ, tp sbb aku tkt xreti nak blk aku pon lari kejar mama. sjk kecik cam tu. sbb tu aku xcpt nak mrjk. and i think i 'm quite strong in handling stress.

tp skg aku xtau knapa aku mudah sgt nangis,mudah sgt terasa. tmbah bila ma choose to be on angah's side everytime we quarell. mcm bdk2 kan i nie. tp dah macam tu dr dlu. if jd apa2, then i'm the one who's wrong. sbb tu aku xsuka kalah. biaq aku lawan smp hbs2. tp skg dah besaq, nothing's change. aku tetap npk garang, jahat, EVIL, suka buli adik and etc. (byk sgt benda buruk nak list up) tp adik2 aku suma npk baik,comel, ayu,santun and suma word2 yg melambangkan a PERFECTIONIST. ma suro aku ubah tp aku xnak. aku xsuka org suro2 camtu.

aku nie ada masalah jiwa kan. kat luaq org npk aku nie happy ja. smapai bila aku xdak mood org akan tanya kenapa. sbb jarang bley tgk aku xdak mood. tp kat dlm hati ni aku ja yg tau. aku ja yg dok serabut sorg2. xpa la, selagi aku bley tjk mood baik slagi tu aku akan tunjuk. biaq aku dgq masalah org, tp aku tgg sdri smua masalah aku. eventhough aku xska smpan suma masalah. tp skg aku rasa tars the best thingh to do. wat masa ni i choose to be quite rather than be myself.hm..tah apa yang aku dok bebel.

xkisah la, yg penting aku xnyusahkan hidop org yg insyaAllah syg kat aku.

ReVieW C.I.N.T.A~ iLOVEu

~hm..last week me n kelly watchd the movie CINTA. it was a great movie. the camera shots was very uniquue and very much different from other movie that i'd watchd.
~i really love it. it's a serious movie.(but at the same i can laugh.sbb lidah pendek pieere andre.shshshs.hehe) lps tu cita dia pon different.i wonder camna director tu bley relate kan 5 cita tu. very unique.
~kalau la ada cinema kat klantan tu, i will watch it again. sbb best sgt.
~ayat2 dia mmg power and sooo SWEET.
~from all 5 stories, i would say story between Dani n Dian touched my heart the most. i felt like crying at that time.tp control la beb. if tgk cd sorg2 ley la layan perasaan.cita pasai aidk beradik.sdey la sbb last skali kakk dia mati sbb derma kidney kat adik dia.eventhough b4 tis diorg gado
~story pasai airin and haris tu pon touching sgt.pandai sgt budak yg jd anak depa tu blakon. cita tu pon very sweet. haris sgt sweet. masa last cita tu, he sends notes tu irine ant the words are very touching. yg i ingat..
"i Love u from 1st time i saw u..i still LOve u even when Ur gOne"
"i've learn that LOVE mean letting GO"
sweet kan
~pastu, cita pasai 2 warga emas tu pon sgt best. the story thought us that love tak kira age and time. suma org sila learn tat lesson.huhu...
~yg lagi 2 stories tu for me besa ja. i mean, we can watch it in other movies as well. tp the actors and actresses really did well. except amani la.cumil tp tah. xreal sgt. nangis pon cam tipu.hehe
~conclusion dia cita nie sgt best..tis is my feveret muvie thn nie.sy CINTA.

hehe..

i miss mom's food

kenapa la foods kat sini xbez sgt!! miss mom's cook!!

SeLAnJar

monday nie my exam.n i haven't prepare anything.pray for me k

-to b me-

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to update my blog.although I know no one’s gonna read my blog,I don’t care. I juz wanna update it. Tis week had been a very hectic week for me.lotsa works to do and still at the same time had to study for my selanjar tis 3rd.oh my god, I think I don’t have any idea what I’m learning right now.God help me. I juz finished my titas paper juz now.wut a paper!! The busy line interrupt me from using the internet. That means I cant check my email,update my friendster,chat using my YM and everything to do wif the internet.oh god, life is so boring without internet.all I do is watching cds and tv.
Hm..although my brain is so damn tired. Icant stop myself thinking tat im single again.haha..borink!! during skool time I’ll be the 1st one to show funny faces when my friends started talking about tis topic.tat was the reason why my ‘gank’ seldomly talk about guys.but know it seems like im the one who’s starting on the topic.fuh!! funny rite??!! How people change when they get older..and so is myself.
I’ve been leaved by guy before and for some reasons tat r hard to explain.i’d done the same thing to some guy.SORRY!!
Sometime u juz feel sad whenu remember urself as single. But if we start to think again.how fun life is during single time then we r gonna appreciate it.
I’ve seen some of my friends who r already married.they look happy.but who knows,deep in their heart they might been thinking the opposite think.hah!! sound synical rite.
Actually im not trying to oppose anybody.its juz tat I’m thinking how very ready the person had to b before they decide to get married and how I see myself as a ‘i-am-not-ready-yet’ person.haha..maybe one day I’ll.but the time juz hasn’t arrive yet.may be when its my time,then god will open my heart and let it be ready.rite god.
It’s a prayer actually.hoping that god will help me to be ready when the time arrive.and to everyone out there.i sincerely think im not ready for a big event like that. I don’t take myself as a mature girl yet.im trying,but I haven’t become one.hm..already feel sleepy.will lost consciousness in 5 minutes.haha.ok then good nite. I LOVE U mama and abah.both of u r the queen and king of my heart rite now. I always pray to god so that I’ll be able to be a good ‘soldier’ to u both.miss u both so much!!! Muahkssss…

sakit la!!

org kna mnatang charlie.sialan.
hbs sakit cam kna bakaq.sdey la.hbs parut tau x!!huhu..
anyone yg xpenah kna gigit gn chali wont know how i feel!!

tensi!!

ma nak balik!! rindu nya kat mama.smlm bestday mama.tp kakak ada kat sni.abah lak ada kursus dkt melaka.sian ma sambut bday gn kt n dik mi ja.

tension la.to day i kna present case kat doctor.tp sbb history i xlengkap.then patient i plak dah discharge i have to do all over again.ltih la.i wonder y i've to learn medical.
i apply amik dentistry.but due to some reasons which i still dont know y.i have to suffer for anothe2 years.
borink la medical.dentistry is so interesting compare gn medic.tp nak wat camna kan.eventhough i xnpk kaitan kaki n gigi i still kna pass medic to be a dentist.
hm..ya ALLAH bantulah hamba mu ini dlm menempuhi sgala dugaan.kalau ikot hati mau ja nak ngamok2 sbb tensen.tp cam gila lak.pikir2 blk i patut redha ja.n plg penting berusahan never give up!!insyaAllah Allah bantu.doakan kita yer..

a prayer from my HEART~

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim...

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh cinta, cintakanlah aku padaseseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu, agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintaiMu

Ya Muhaimin, jika aku jatuh hati, izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu...

Ya Rabbana, jika aku jatuh hati jagalah hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu...

Ya Rabbul Izzati, jika aku rindu, rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan Mu....

Ya Allah, jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu

Ya Allah, jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu....

Ya Allah jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu... ....Amin

::copied from my friends.but really come from my heart::