IKHLAS

"ilmu yang paling sukar untuk dikuasai ialah ilmu IKHLAS" nasihat dari AFHO

it is very true. and i find it very hard especially when u help someone but deep in your heart there's a whisper telling u that one will do the same thing to u when u ask for their help next time. and when u do asked for their help and they gave u so many excuses, u grumble inside your heart that one is never grateful for your help last time. oh dear.

sometime i think my heart is dark and black, or is it my mind who wants it that way?! i never wanna feel that way, but that hunched, that whisper, it bothers me a lot. i know that once i question what i did, then i won't gain any 'pahala' from the good deed that i did. but that hunched, that whisper, why are u still there. i don't need u. but what should i do to get rid of u. oh God, i'm still learnig that word, i may know the meaning, but to apply it in me, it may takes some time.