am i a LOSER?!

am i a loser? do i talk to much? do i get mad easily? do people hate me for being bossy? do i speak too loud? actually, i dont know. i dont think i know myself. someone just told me tat i talk too much. it made me sad actually. hm.. idont know. perhaps, being in girls skool for so long has created who i am today. i never care about others.

tp ya allah kenapa skrg diri ini mudah sgt utk tersentuh. mudah sgt utk menangis. even kan jerkah dgn doctor skt pon, rasa sdey sgt. td kna marah lg. aku tau tat's my fault, tp i'm not a child anymore to be yelled like that. tak kan aku nak ubah diri aku. aku dah mcm ni sjk dulu lg. for over 20 years i'e been leaving the WAY I AM.

hm..aku pon xtau apa yg aku tgh merapu. but i know tat aku rasa jauh hati sgt skg. sjk dulu if aku mrjuk. xnah ada org nak pujuk. dulu masa kecik2 mitak buku crita mama xbg, aku kata xmo blk, mama pon tinggal ja aku kat situ, tp sbb aku tkt xreti nak blk aku pon lari kejar mama. sjk kecik cam tu. sbb tu aku xcpt nak mrjk. and i think i 'm quite strong in handling stress.

tp skg aku xtau knapa aku mudah sgt nangis,mudah sgt terasa. tmbah bila ma choose to be on angah's side everytime we quarell. mcm bdk2 kan i nie. tp dah macam tu dr dlu. if jd apa2, then i'm the one who's wrong. sbb tu aku xsuka kalah. biaq aku lawan smp hbs2. tp skg dah besaq, nothing's change. aku tetap npk garang, jahat, EVIL, suka buli adik and etc. (byk sgt benda buruk nak list up) tp adik2 aku suma npk baik,comel, ayu,santun and suma word2 yg melambangkan a PERFECTIONIST. ma suro aku ubah tp aku xnak. aku xsuka org suro2 camtu.

aku nie ada masalah jiwa kan. kat luaq org npk aku nie happy ja. smapai bila aku xdak mood org akan tanya kenapa. sbb jarang bley tgk aku xdak mood. tp kat dlm hati ni aku ja yg tau. aku ja yg dok serabut sorg2. xpa la, selagi aku bley tjk mood baik slagi tu aku akan tunjuk. biaq aku dgq masalah org, tp aku tgg sdri smua masalah aku. eventhough aku xska smpan suma masalah. tp skg aku rasa tars the best thingh to do. wat masa ni i choose to be quite rather than be myself.hm..tah apa yang aku dok bebel.

xkisah la, yg penting aku xnyusahkan hidop org yg insyaAllah syg kat aku.

ReVieW C.I.N.T.A~ iLOVEu

~hm..last week me n kelly watchd the movie CINTA. it was a great movie. the camera shots was very uniquue and very much different from other movie that i'd watchd.
~i really love it. it's a serious movie.(but at the same i can laugh.sbb lidah pendek pieere andre.shshshs.hehe) lps tu cita dia pon different.i wonder camna director tu bley relate kan 5 cita tu. very unique.
~kalau la ada cinema kat klantan tu, i will watch it again. sbb best sgt.
~ayat2 dia mmg power and sooo SWEET.
~from all 5 stories, i would say story between Dani n Dian touched my heart the most. i felt like crying at that time.tp control la beb. if tgk cd sorg2 ley la layan perasaan.cita pasai aidk beradik.sdey la sbb last skali kakk dia mati sbb derma kidney kat adik dia.eventhough b4 tis diorg gado
~story pasai airin and haris tu pon touching sgt.pandai sgt budak yg jd anak depa tu blakon. cita tu pon very sweet. haris sgt sweet. masa last cita tu, he sends notes tu irine ant the words are very touching. yg i ingat..
"i Love u from 1st time i saw u..i still LOve u even when Ur gOne"
"i've learn that LOVE mean letting GO"
sweet kan
~pastu, cita pasai 2 warga emas tu pon sgt best. the story thought us that love tak kira age and time. suma org sila learn tat lesson.huhu...
~yg lagi 2 stories tu for me besa ja. i mean, we can watch it in other movies as well. tp the actors and actresses really did well. except amani la.cumil tp tah. xreal sgt. nangis pon cam tipu.hehe
~conclusion dia cita nie sgt best..tis is my feveret muvie thn nie.sy CINTA.

hehe..

i miss mom's food

kenapa la foods kat sini xbez sgt!! miss mom's cook!!

SeLAnJar

monday nie my exam.n i haven't prepare anything.pray for me k

-to b me-

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to update my blog.although I know no one’s gonna read my blog,I don’t care. I juz wanna update it. Tis week had been a very hectic week for me.lotsa works to do and still at the same time had to study for my selanjar tis 3rd.oh my god, I think I don’t have any idea what I’m learning right now.God help me. I juz finished my titas paper juz now.wut a paper!! The busy line interrupt me from using the internet. That means I cant check my email,update my friendster,chat using my YM and everything to do wif the internet.oh god, life is so boring without internet.all I do is watching cds and tv.
Hm..although my brain is so damn tired. Icant stop myself thinking tat im single again.haha..borink!! during skool time I’ll be the 1st one to show funny faces when my friends started talking about tis topic.tat was the reason why my ‘gank’ seldomly talk about guys.but know it seems like im the one who’s starting on the topic.fuh!! funny rite??!! How people change when they get older..and so is myself.
I’ve been leaved by guy before and for some reasons tat r hard to explain.i’d done the same thing to some guy.SORRY!!
Sometime u juz feel sad whenu remember urself as single. But if we start to think again.how fun life is during single time then we r gonna appreciate it.
I’ve seen some of my friends who r already married.they look happy.but who knows,deep in their heart they might been thinking the opposite think.hah!! sound synical rite.
Actually im not trying to oppose anybody.its juz tat I’m thinking how very ready the person had to b before they decide to get married and how I see myself as a ‘i-am-not-ready-yet’ person.haha..maybe one day I’ll.but the time juz hasn’t arrive yet.may be when its my time,then god will open my heart and let it be ready.rite god.
It’s a prayer actually.hoping that god will help me to be ready when the time arrive.and to everyone out there.i sincerely think im not ready for a big event like that. I don’t take myself as a mature girl yet.im trying,but I haven’t become one.hm..already feel sleepy.will lost consciousness in 5 minutes.haha.ok then good nite. I LOVE U mama and abah.both of u r the queen and king of my heart rite now. I always pray to god so that I’ll be able to be a good ‘soldier’ to u both.miss u both so much!!! Muahkssss…

sakit la!!

org kna mnatang charlie.sialan.
hbs sakit cam kna bakaq.sdey la.hbs parut tau x!!huhu..
anyone yg xpenah kna gigit gn chali wont know how i feel!!

tensi!!

ma nak balik!! rindu nya kat mama.smlm bestday mama.tp kakak ada kat sni.abah lak ada kursus dkt melaka.sian ma sambut bday gn kt n dik mi ja.

tension la.to day i kna present case kat doctor.tp sbb history i xlengkap.then patient i plak dah discharge i have to do all over again.ltih la.i wonder y i've to learn medical.
i apply amik dentistry.but due to some reasons which i still dont know y.i have to suffer for anothe2 years.
borink la medical.dentistry is so interesting compare gn medic.tp nak wat camna kan.eventhough i xnpk kaitan kaki n gigi i still kna pass medic to be a dentist.
hm..ya ALLAH bantulah hamba mu ini dlm menempuhi sgala dugaan.kalau ikot hati mau ja nak ngamok2 sbb tensen.tp cam gila lak.pikir2 blk i patut redha ja.n plg penting berusahan never give up!!insyaAllah Allah bantu.doakan kita yer..

a prayer from my HEART~

Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim...

Ya Allah jika aku jatuh cinta, cintakanlah aku padaseseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu, agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintaiMu

Ya Muhaimin, jika aku jatuh hati, izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu...

Ya Rabbana, jika aku jatuh hati jagalah hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu...

Ya Rabbul Izzati, jika aku rindu, rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalan Mu....

Ya Allah, jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu

Ya Allah, jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu....

Ya Allah jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu... ....Amin

::copied from my friends.but really come from my heart::

HAPPY FASTING

HAPPY RAMADHAN!! selamat berpuase evryone.i am very excited everytime ramadhan arrive.
1st-because everyone will be fasting,
2nd-the bazar ramdhan,
3rd-jamuan berbuka puasa,
4th-tarawikh
last but not least-HARI RAYA
i think everyone is excited about the same things.anyway.the most important thing about tihs month is it is a BLESS month.Hope everyone will grab this opportunity to gain more pahala and loose out DOSA!! =)

X!!??

B.O.R.I.N.G!! thats the only word i can think of rite now!!!!!!!!!!! huhuhu..we are given one week of 'self-study' aka holiday. i wanna go home.BUT HTD punya pasai i have to stay..arghh!! one week cuti.susah nak jumpak dah kat dlm hidop nie..lotsa my friends balik.and ME the one yg suka blk.is STUCK in my room doin nothin'.




--things i do to 'unbored' myself-->>





actually,i haven't finish reading almost ALL of my nOtes.hehe..but still i tell everyone i'm bored + have nothing to do.hehe...MALAS la...<>

i plan to go home during ramadhan.i know it will be tiring.but i dont care.hehe..i still wanna go home,discard all the tiredness and all the money waste.

last nite i went shopping wif my best buds nOd,sYa n Tim.i bought things yg bley hlgkan kebosanan cd>magazine>novel aka benda2 lagha.. but still feel bored.huhu..

can someone HELP me!!hehe..

C F C S

LAST Saturday, 09-09-06, all 2nd year students were asked to masuk kampong in jajahan pasir mas. This programme was organized by the school to make us more familiar with kampong air. Tis is to make sure tat we are ready if we are post to work in rural area. Besides that, we r supposed to do some research on the health status of the villagers.

Each goup was given one kampong or one mukim to do the research. As for my group, PBL 12, we were given a really big area ie mukim KUbang Gatal. In the kampong, we stay in the family angkat’s house,2-3 peep were ‘given’ to one family angkat. Me n shu xuan were ‘given’ to Cikgu Zakaria’s family whom I call ayah su, and his wife mak su dah. I was the only one who stay there cos shu xuan had to go to KL for physio quiz. Ayah su’s family is a small family abang ngah the eldest was only 12,abg chik 10,ammar 8 and lil ain 4,she's shoo cute. then there were kak ada and mok ngah who stay nearby but always visit the house.

The house was very big.eventhough at 1st I was quite scared that I will stay in house tat has toilet 100m from the house.huhu..i was given a very comfie room.

On the 1st day, we have problem-->TOO MANY HOUSE,around 700, to cover. But we managed to consult wif prof halim to reduce the boundaries of the mukim to a smaller one. So that it will be easier for us to do the research.

In the evening,9/9, we start our work by tagging the house wif number and draw the map of the mukim. Me, nas n basyir use car to move from house to house while jack,khai, yati n qma ride motorbike. we found out that it was very difficult for us to drive car, cos we need to stop in one area of houses,do tagging then return to our car. The area was already getting dark at 7. therefore we decide to stop our work and continue later as the penghulu had already warned us on the danger working in the kampong when it’s dark.So tat nite we decide to stay in our family angkat’s ouse.

On the next day..the penggawa let us use his motorbike,hm…I wanna ride the bie eventhough it has been a while since I ride one.but on that day..i force myself to ride one..haha…I don’t know tat I still have the talent.haha…me and nas both don’t know how to ride a bike,finally riding it..hehe… we really enjoy our time eventhough the weather was very damn HOT. Our skin rasa cam tgh bbq.hehe..

After finishing the tagging and mapping , we were shocked by the news tat the ministry had ordered us to go home.hm...sadly, we obeyed the order.

When we got home we were even shocked knowing tat the programme will be cancel due to some political issue..WUAAAAAAH….after all the hard work,finally boom..everything is cancel..imagine how we all feel rite now…

Anyway we have fun..and I learned how to ride a motorbike..huhu..

hAri Nie BirtHdAy SYA!!!

On 30th AUgust was sya's birthday...SLAMAT haRI wARgA tuA..
weLcOme to the cLub..haha...

we all xarrange any birthday party pun for sya..but we suprise her wif gifts..hehe..hope she like it doh..

Ini me n sya in lecture hall~friendship forever girl~

tHe tRiP to PenANg~

LAST WEEK i went to penang for conveX'06. it was fun..it'd been a while since i visit png

we arrive there early in the morning! the first thing that came to my mind is ROTI CANAI,NASI LEMAK n TEH TARIK..wuah..i miss eating and drinking semua tu. because in kelantan all of those seems different. nasi lemak wif sambal that is not pedas,nipis roti canai and a very sweet teh tarik.cant stand that..

anyway..the most happening thing was..the chance to meet one my best bud in school...JO LYNN...miss her a lot..i havent see her since spm... i think..quite a long period.all my friends is usm were very kagum knowing tat me n jo lynn had known each other since standard 1..
ouh..i wish i can meet all my friends..they sure look different know rite..

the pameran was ok..i got to meet people from engineering campus..ehem..hehe...i oso met my dearest WAN..the one tat i share every secret wif..HOPE the secret safe wif u wan..haha...she's chubbier..hehe..

i shop a lot there...WELL~ a shopaholic shops anywhere anytime..hahaha..

i guess i didnt write a lot bout the trip..anyway..the trip was very very fun..wish i can go to another trip like tat..hehe..USM png is very beautiful..compare to my campus la..so damn jeles!!

can some1 help me??!!

i'm bored to death right now!! everybody's at home enjoying their one week holiday..while me n several friends are struggling in usmkk preparing for the exhibition in penang..

oh god,i hope they'll be grateful for what we've prepare.last n8 few us slept at 4..wish is weird because exam is so far away..but due to commitment in work..we do it without complaining.hah..i cant wait to go to penang..wanna meet my friends that i havent see for a year..miz the a lot..

but still i wonder..will i have time to meet em n catch up wif their latest..as i will be very BUSY. anyway i still feel anxious on this trip...so lookig forward to go there..it has been a while since i've been there..miz the atmosphere..

hm...tonight i might have to go to dwn murni..to finish up some thing..or may be help some of my friends..whose teamate is ENJOYING their time at home...it weird to know that some people are so kejam that they just let their teammate to all the work and they got the name...very KIASU la..hopefully none of that species of mankind will be my mate or friends.

WeLcOmE to MySeLf!!

Assalamualaikum!! fuh..selamat datang utk diri sendiri..entah apahal tiba2 ja teringin nak ada blog..before this dah ada dah..tp stakat dkt frenster tu apa kls..haha..org lain ada blog..i pon tingin gak nak ada..at least my friends can get the latest news of my self..hmm..ada ke org yg nak tau pasai diri ini..hehe...sdey nye bunyi...anyway...now that i have a blog...i hope i'll have time to update it...kdg2 masa awl2 ni semangat gila...lastly..kuang kuang... -under construction- hehehe...camla busy sgt!! anw...smoga blog aku ni xunderconstruction memanjang...bez gak ada blog..leh wat tpt meluahkan perasaan dgn POYO nya.. =P
itu aku...hehe..!!