25 February 2008

The article that makes me cries

Every week my Angah will buy a copy of mingguan wanita, a magazine for women. For a 21 yet to be 22 year old lady like me, which ain’t married yet, its quiet weird to read such an adulthood magazines. Normally people at my age will be busy reading magazines on the latest fashion, the latest gossips and etc (mingguan wanita also have news on fashions and gossips). But our Mama had thought to read things that have useful information. Instead of reading those entertainment magz, we r asked to read mags with infos that we can use in the future.

So last month I read an article by Dr. Rozieta Shaari, a motivator, who writes a column ‘rahsia cemerlang’ in that magazine. I forget the title though. She wrote that, during her wedding, her father looked sad and gloomy. She didn’t know the reasons. But she wondered whether her father didn’t like her choice of man or he didn’t want her to get married. She didn’t understand the reasons. Her father was supposed to be happy and delighted that his daughter is getting married and will never become a burden to the family anymore. She didn’t question her father but after almost 20 years of marriage she finally found the answer.

It is her daughter who will get marry and now her husband looks worry, sad and gloomy. Then she understands, its not that his husband don’t like their daughter to get married. Instead, he’s worried of some other things. Whether that guy who just know her daughter for a couple of years will love her the way he do. He questioned himself whether that guy will starve just to let her daughter to eat? Will he work all days and night just to make sure his daughter live comfortably? Will he be patient with her daughter? Will that guy do what he had done in order to protect his daughter? All of these makes him worried and thus looks as he hates the marriage to go on. After cherishing his daughter with all of his love for many years, he now had to let go his daughter to a man who just know his daughter. It is hard for him but he knows he had to do it. Their daughter has grown up and will have her own family. Together with the new guy, they will try to build what she and her husband built, a FAMILY. They will have their own responsibilities. Soon they will have their own children and will also feel the same things.

What makes me sad was to think that my father might also think the same things. Now when ever my Sayang calls my Abah, he will somehow answer like he hated him. I used to wonder and question myself the same thing. But after reading that article, I cried and understand the reason why he acted that way. I changed my perception towards my Abah. May be he felt the same thing about my Sayang. Abah might not hate my Sayang but he’s wondering whether my Sayang can take care of me just the way he did.

May be u didn’t cry after reading this. May be I just had a sensitive heart and soul. But somehow with that article I learned that even though Abah is cold, answering ‘ehemm’ with all of my stories and sometime ignoring my questions, I know that it is just his way of loving. May be he just don’t want to revealed his true feeling. May be he just don’t wanna show how he felt. Any way, I love u Abah. I might not say it to your face. But I do. I really do. And I love u to Mama. Thank for taking care of me, for being patient with my unstable emotions, for supporting every single steps that I had taken, for giving useful advices that make who I am today, for EVERYTHING. I LOVE BOTH of U with ALL my heart. THANK U!

my dearest mama and abah

Sayang, I hope our love will end with a knot that not just will cause us to have to see each others face until we die. But it’s a knot that makes us ONE where we will have to learn on making decisions and everything together. It’s a relation that let us to accept each other for whom we are and what we will be. It let us learn to respect each other. I hope we can get through it even though we are not even near it yet. I love u Sayang. Always do!

20 February 2008

meaning of true shopaholic

while im going true sophie kingsella's novels, i was thinking on the real meaning of shopaholic. i was thinking wether i can consider myself a shopaholic.

can shopping calmed u??

that day when we were shopping in kl. there was this intuition in myself. iwas thinking on my savings my future.will i have enough money to survive and everything. instead of focusing on the things so called shopping, i doubt myself with questions on wether i should spend money or not

i guess i wasnt a true shopaholic if i had that feelings rite?! i dont know!!! watching my friends grabbing, and pulling the shirts from pile of more shirts with tags of 50%. i wasnt sure wether i should do the same.well tat is what i used to be.digging and digging.hunting for places with big 50%tags on it.making decisions in like less than 5seconds. and spending on tat i'd already got. but at tat moment this intuition cause me to just stand there and look at my friends. even my angah was going crazy over the sales there (which was very weird for someone named angah!!.sorry angah)

anyway. can i say tat i hv REAL shopaholic friends.hehe.sya n nody.its a compliment for u girls actually

am i??!!

what makes me feel this way.am i getting more matture in making judgement in my life.i still wonder myself.

i just hope that feeling can actually help me to save some money.i should learn on how to manage my finances.instead of going shopping and spending all of my money. so tat in future i wont be spending all of my salary juz for shoppin.i should be more mature as i will have my own family later right. can u imagine me still a shopaholic married to another shopaholic husband.how are we suppose to manage our family.

but still tat moment didnt last for so long.when we were in mid valley.i made a quick decision on buying a pair of rm215 skechers (which im wearing rite now).why wasnt that intuition come again at that time.arghh!! i thought im getting more matured.what a lie! . after paying for the shoes, my heart felt it again.it was saying is it worth for u to buy shoes with that price.its juz gona stay at ur feet.n ur feet not gaoing to say thank u noorole.for buying me such a lovely shoes.(i think i heard my feet saying thank u for buying such a shoes for them before i paid.but why cant i hear it now).luckily, i made a right decisions.that shoes was a heavenly for my feet.i didnt feel that pain on my heels when standing anymore. but wearing tat shoes makes me feel worried everytime i'd to take out before going into the mussola or mosgque. im afraid some one will steal them.hehe..now i wonder on how long will this shoes last

a true shopaholic wont be doubting with feeling of guilty after they buy something. maybe they wil.but not for long. plus. they'l buy things that they alreary had.like shoes,shoes and shoes. they'll have things with price tags on, not scheduled to be wear at anytime soon.

i dont think im a true one right now.the feeling is there. but im tryingmy best to at least reconsider before actually buying something.hope i can hold this feeling.
my weakness for now is food.ican still get over it.if it is spending money for foods.then i didnt even care how much i'l have to pay.as long as im satisfied with it.can it be considered as a shopaholic or foodaholic.hehe..

17 February 2008

kay-el! shopping...eating...everything

that day i went shopping in kl.well im a damn shopaholic.i dunno exactly how much i ve spend.but i can say tat i'd spend alot.on foods there.on my new great skechers.jeans.
i feeel like buying anything under the sun. but i guess i can still control my eagerness to shop n juz buy buy n buy.hehe.but on that trip i realized that my dearie friends sya n nodi are much much more true shopaholic than me.hehe.sorry girls.thats juz how i felt that day.

anyway.kl is not a place for living.juz like wat my syg said.u can go there sometym.shopping like crazy.eat like theres no more food. but u juz cant stay there. it was too hectic for me.eventhough i like urban life.i dont think i can manage the stress of traffic jam, waiting for the busses.n plus the food there are much much more expensive then what i can find in sp.

i feel great im staying in sp.

we went to sunway. n it was suck. it was not a place for a muslim like me.im not making a statement tat im a very2 religious person. its juz tat i felt disrespect when i'd paid the same amount like others but was not allow to go on the slides.juz becos im not wearing shorts.wut a reasons.for me sunway is not a place to have fun.huhu

11 February 2008

pro pro pro

there are another 89 days til pro.i cant believe it.i think i've only prepared like5% or even less.hahahhaa..im getting crazy.last holiday was full with rnjoying stuffs tat i forget to study aiyak..shopping,dating watching movies thats all i've done.huhu..everyone.plis give me advice and courage so tat i can still be strong to study for my exam.hm..my plan after pro was even bizzare.there are a lots of stuff and thngs to do.place to visits and manymore.the list are endless. but i must first go through the exam and pass it with flying colours.insyaallah. well everyone plis pray for me k..pray tat we'll together success in everythg tat we do.mmuah..love u all

saya syg kamu

well syg u stole my heart..and im loving it...

-kat sini ada kamu!!-noorole