So last month I read an article by Dr. Rozieta Shaari, a motivator, who writes a column ‘rahsia cemerlang’ in that magazine. I forget the title though. She wrote that, during her wedding, her father looked sad and gloomy. She didn’t know the reasons. But she wondered whether her father didn’t like her choice of man or he didn’t want her to get married. She didn’t understand the reasons. Her father was supposed to be happy and delighted that his daughter is getting married and will never become a burden to the family anymore. She didn’t question her father but after almost 20 years of marriage she finally found the answer.
It is her daughter who will get marry and now her husband looks worry, sad and gloomy. Then she understands, its not that his husband don’t like their daughter to get married. Instead, he’s worried of some other things. Whether that guy who just know her daughter for a couple of years will love her the way he do. He questioned himself whether that guy will starve just to let her daughter to eat? Will he work all days and night just to make sure his daughter live comfortably? Will he be patient with her daughter? Will that guy do what he had done in order to protect his daughter? All of these makes him worried and thus looks as he hates the marriage to go on. After cherishing his daughter with all of his love for many years, he now had to let go his daughter to a man who just know his daughter. It is hard for him but he knows he had to do it. Their daughter has grown up and will have her own family. Together with the new guy, they will try to build what she and her husband built, a FAMILY. They will have their own responsibilities. Soon they will have their own children and will also feel the same things.
What makes me sad was to think that my father might also think the same things. Now when ever my Sayang calls my Abah, he will somehow answer like he hated him. I used to wonder and question myself the same thing. But after reading that article, I cried and understand the reason why he acted that way. I changed my perception towards my Abah. May be he felt the same thing about my Sayang. Abah might not hate my Sayang but he’s wondering whether my Sayang can take care of me just the way he did.
May be u didn’t cry after reading this. May be I just had a sensitive heart and soul. But somehow with that article I learned that even though Abah is cold, answering ‘ehemm’ with all of my stories and sometime ignoring my questions, I know that it is just his way of loving. May be he just don’t want to revealed his true feeling. May be he just don’t wanna show how he felt. Any way, I love u Abah. I might not say it to your face. But I do. I really do. And I love u to Mama. Thank for taking care of me, for being patient with my unstable emotions, for supporting every single steps that I had taken, for giving useful advices that make who I am today, for EVERYTHING. I LOVE BOTH of U with ALL my heart. THANK U!
my dearest mama and abah
Sayang, I hope our love will end with a knot that not just will cause us to have to see each others face until we die. But it’s a knot that makes us ONE where we will have to learn on making decisions and everything together. It’s a relation that let us to accept each other for whom we are and what we will be. It let us learn to respect each other. I hope we can get through it even though we are not even near it yet. I love u Sayang. Always do!