24 September 2008


this entry will sure make miss jenna jealous. yesterday i donated my blood for the seventh time. i first donated my blood when i was studying in matriculation. now that im staying so damn near to the hospital. it is much more easy for me to donate blood. i just go to the unit transfusi darah HUSM. check my hemoglobin level and blood pressure. and walla! i can start donating my blood already.
yesterday was special because it is an event organized yearly by blood transfusion units. they held a berbuka puasa then after that we can start  donating our blood. for those who are lucky. u might get prizes from the lucky draw. the grand prize was a TV. i was not very lucky yesterday. but my sister got a bread toaster. lucky her. now i can tumpang her.
at first my hemoglobin level was only 11.8 below the level i should have in order to donate blood. the minimum level was 12.0. sad sad sad. but lucky me after repeating the test my hemoglobin level is 12.4. it is normal to had false result on the first test because the alcohol swap that been used might cause som dilutional effect.
me and sya!  the regular donor. hehe!
happy. berjaya menderma!
my blood is AB. org cakap kedekut. sbb we can only received blood from other blood group donor but we are not able to donate to other blood group
to those who never experienced donating blood. u should try at least once. it is not that painful. the first injection was a bit painful. but that injection is the one that make u didn't feels the pain. because the first injection is only the local anesthetic drug. the second injection are not painful at all even though the needle are bigger than the first one. during the process u won't feel anything. after donation u are allowed to rest until u feel better. the amount of blood donated depends on your weight. as for me who weigh 54 kg. i can donate one big bag which was 450ml. after donating, there are free foods for u to eats. and u will be prescribed hematinic to ensure that u won't be anemic later.
dont be afraid that amount of your blood is now less because our body is build in such beautiful way that it has its own factory to produce the blood. don't worry ok! donate now. and u'll safe lifes later.


 the upper left picture shows inflammatory area at my esophagus. there is also redness that indicate inflammation
this is an old story. the pic above is the pic inside my cute tummy. i'd done my oesophageal gastroduodenal endoscope or better known as OGDS 2 weeks before raya. i got heartburn so mr zaidi offers to do OGDS to me. n i had to do this in front of my colleogeues.
the experiences was very discomfort. i was trying to avoid myself vomiting until there's tears streaming down my face. ida sampai suro saya jangan nangis la. padahal im not crying. cuma rasa nak muntah. it was not painful but it was very discomfort.
mr zaidi detected an inflammatory area at my esophageos and there was a small ulcer. i was diagnosed to had reflx esophagitius. i was prescribed pantoprazole for 6 weeks. sekarang saya kena kurangkan makan makanan yg pedas, which is my favourite. eventhough dah di diagnosed i still degil. makan pedas jugak. 
memang degil oo ini budak.

22 September 2008


yeah. i know. there are 8 days to go. but still i cant wait to celebrate raya. eventhough i havent prepared anything yet. i havent buy new baju raya or anything. and i havent plan the biscuits to bake for this raya. thats why i cant wait to go home. i wanna bake cakes and biscuits. ouh!!! i can smelled the cookies baking already!!! yummy!!
i cant wait to eat mama's laksa this raya. its been a while since the last time mama cooked her famous laksa. and tok's ketupat is the best. and angah's moist choc cake is superb. im drooling. i cant wait to eat n eat. i dont care if i gain back the 5kg that i lost during the puasa. dont care!! dont care!!
this hari raya is the first raya that i'll celebrate as my Sayang's fiancee. still saya nak duit raya ye Sayang!! hehe.
to my friends who never miss to come to my house on hari raya. please come ok. this is an early invitation. hope to see u girls soon. okay! my mama's laksa will be waiting for u!!

17 September 2008


i copied this from a blog that i'd found randomly. it nice! so i thought of sharing this with all of u.
1. Falling in love. (i do. i do. i already do)
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts. (always! when i'm with the girls)
3. Enjoying a ride down the country side. ( gonna do that later)
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio. (sometimes la)
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.  (i prefer the weather than the sounds)
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel. (yeah! i love it.)
7. Passing your final exams with good grades. ( the things that i'd asked for in every single prayer. plz ALLAH)
8. Being a part of an interesting conversation (which i rarely did now. i'm trying to be a bit quiet now.even though its hard)
9. Finding some money in some old pants. ( i really need this know. and i hope it's a big one)
10. Laughing at yourself. (silly me! always do setupid things)
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends. (i hope this busy life go away fast. so i can do this)
12. Laughing without a reason. (haha. gilak)
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say something good about you.(never. sob sob)
14. Watching the sunset. (its beautiful. especially when u watch it with your loves one. romantic. bila la my Sayang nak bawak lg ni?)
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.( love it)
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss. (hihi)
17. Feeling this buzz in your body when seeing this "special" someone. (i still feels it when i see u Dear)
18. Having a great time with your friends. (i miss my bestfriends kelly, nab, watai, fat, n jen n yati)
19. Seeing the one you love happy. (i'll feel happy too)
20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume.( smelling checked! wearing. not yet! ahak)
21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.( we can only do this once a year)
22. Hearing someone telling you "I LOVE YOU" (it makes me fly. always do!)


recently. i'd been seeing a lots of tears streaming from many people. i cant seem to control myself if i see other people's crying. drama queen i am.
last Monday i saw my patient's son. age around 35. crying. and to be surprise. my patient passed away due to intracranial bleed secondary to uncontrolled hypertension. i was shocked. only on the day before i talked to his wife. and today he's gone. I'm sad. even though the doctors had try very hard to resuscitate this patient. he's still gone. his time has come. when i saw his body wrapped in white cloth . i begin to think what will i do and feel if that patient is my father or my family member? i didn't dare to imagine more. its hurts. definitely.
this is why i did not opt for medical course.
on every other day, i saw tears coming from my patients and their family member. the patients they cry because they couldnt bare with the pain that they are having. and their family members cannot stand it anymore seeing their loves one suffering in so much pain. i cant either. everyday they'll be patients screaming that they cant bare the pain anymore. it hurts me seeing them like that. but still i'd to act like i dont care. i know the doctors and nurses also feels the same. but they acted like they dont care. it's just that they need to be strong because there are other patients that still need attetntion from them.
this is why i did not opt for medical course.
i also saw tears tears from the housement officer (HO). she had just being scold by a specialist. i know the senior doctor only get mad when u did things wrongly. they want to teach u so that u wont be harmful doctor. but still its painful when someone shouts and yells at u. on your face. the tension was superb. only those who are strong and know how to manage their stress can become a great doctor
this is why i did not opt for medical course.
i know that I'll see more tears in the future. from people i know or from strangers. at that time u wish u know how they feel. but believe me. it's painful. i can imagine it.
if u really want to be a doctor. u had to consider a lots of things. and if last time u wish u were a doctor. try to consider reversing your wish. it's a tough field. I'm only a part of it now. but i already feel the tension.

16 September 2008


RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any 1 questions that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Tagged by farie fariehan si budak yg aku dah lama tak kelihatan

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
hopefully he didnt do that to me...tamau.. saya tamau benda itu terjadi!!! 

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
a life yg dipermudahkan segala-galanya..wink..saya mau hidop senang

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
hm..skrg ni ialah si adik ku muhammad najmi bin fahimi, sbb PMR dah nak dekat tapi xgheti2 nak study. bajet bijak la tu

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
around the world gn my sayang..n family saya jugak..saya nak wat investment..so that saya xpayah keja sampai mati

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
 bestfriend saya sume pompuan..maka ianya tak mungkin berlaku!! sayang i love u!

 6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
both..tp being love la yg plg best..being pampered is the best..

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
sayang..i hate waiting..jom kawen cepat!! hehe

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
sapa suro secretly like..if u like someone u have to show signs that u like em..and pray really hard that he'll noticed..xguna suka org senyap!! kan sayang??!!! hehe..

9. Who is in your mind right now?
cinta hati saya

10. What takes you down the fastest?
clinical teaching. saya tak suka.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
a better person than who i am today

12. What's your fear?
death..mati itu pasti..tp yg pastinya saya xtau saya akan ke mana!

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
saiko sgt!!! soryy dear farie. betoi kan?! of cos la aku tak lupa jemput ko nnt..

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
can i answer married and rich..i only opt for the best thing in my life.
15. What's the first thing you do when you wake up?
call si sayang toek suro bgn!!! bgn!! bgn!!.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
yup!! a definitely yes yes yes..insyaAllah

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick? 
im a loyal person..who only falls for one person..satu pon tak larat nak jaga..

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
saya seorang pelupa..kadang2 ja tingat..slalunya lupa..kan sayang?? dah tua dah..kna kawen dah ni.hikhik

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
single is simple..but having someone to think of and makes me fly everyday is just fascinating..sayang!! im so in love with u

20. List 5 people to tag.
sya yg blog xbley komen..hampeh seh..
noddy sayang najmuddin
jenna. when are u coming back la dear
jane. i think u r getting slimmer and slimmmer

14 September 2008


270808 first time i did scaling to my patient. thanx to my patient encik fasoni who was very patient. as i did make a lots of mistakes at that time. luckily i didnt hurt him
080908-first time i did per rectum examination on my patient. sorry mr patient. i didnt know u.
two different things. and i only love doing the first one.

05 September 2008


akhirnya. surgical posting is over. and next posting to go through is another anchor posting aka medical posting. and for almost 2 months going through posting atteched to medical courses, i still wonder wether it makes sense to learn medical when u are going to be a dentist in the future. yeah. i know doctors and lecturers had been babling about the importance since i was in first year. but it still didnt makes me satisfy. can u see any relation of a dentist being the one who's repairing the oral cavity got to do with anus and rectum which situated at the other end of the canal. sungguh ku tak paham. still blur.
and everyday of the posting seems to be burdening so much. i'll become very tired when i arrived at my room at 5 pm every sunday till wednesday. and will be spending the whole night resting. i'll become very tired and of cos i still need to study. it is vey tiring. not to forget there are seminars and case write up to prepare. and what i hate the most is the end posting assesment.
for surgical posting. we have to pass our long case exam. in this exam my case was a pediatric case, inguinal hernia. my examiner was Mr. Osman. i dont know why i am so stupid when it comes to hernia. i hate that topic since i know what it means in first year. and of cos i didnt study much about that topic. and i failed that exam and had to reseat. luckily the reseating exam is done on the same day.
my case for the reseats exam is rectal cancer. fortunately, i kow this patient. but i never clerk him thoroughly. i regret it. but it was too late. i have to clerk him now and presents it to Mr Jasni. everybody know how nice Mr Jasni is. but still im scared to death and forget everything about MRI and CT scan. thought blocked again. saya menci. anyway i pass this exam finally.
now i would like to welcomed myself to the medical wards in HKB. huhu.
**hari ni saya nak berbuka dgn nodi and sya and angah dekat Tarbush. cant wait.

01 September 2008


finally. the ramadhan has arrived. and i hope it brings along bless and happiness. i hope i'll learn to be more patient, less aggressive, be more cool in evrything.
but somehow my first day of puasa sudah dipenuhi dgn ketensionan. as i have to rewrite my case write up which i already type and submitte to Mr Tarmizi. sungguh tensi. tapi saya kena wat jugak. and on this thursday i have my end posting exam. which was suck cause recently i'd noticed that i always had thought block. which was making me tense because i remember what the doctor says but when asked i cant produced it in words. it is so hard to be describe. but i really hate the feeling.
right now i have a lot of hate in my heart that i hope will be gone by this ramadhan. somehow i which some people to be more sensitive in what they say. hello!! u are breakong my heart here. cant u see!! (and im not talking about my Sayang)
anyway. happy ramadhan everyone. hope u'll be bless by Allah. i wish im at home breaking fast with Mama's home cook. huhu!