i just finish my test just now. so should i say i feel damn relieve because it's over. tp kan the countdown to my PRO exam is getting lesser and lesser. lagi 24 hari ja. so i guess it's not the right time for me to feel relieve la. i hate exam. i hate presenting the case in front of doctors. i like suprises. but not this kind of suprise.
if they tell that is the case then i can prepare. then i'll feel better. what if i were to get the case that is not clear. that i cant diagnosed. that i cant perform the physical examination correctly. i dont like that feeling. i dont wanna have to repeat. it's a painful experience. u'l change once u have to go through that moment. i can see it from the corner of my friends who had gone through it. u wont see it clearly. but somehow u know they change. may be they feel like they dont belong with us who havent gone through it. may be they are just adapting.
but somehow u'll get more mature when u had it. u learn to handle stress. u are much much more ready and experienced when u were to face problems. but for us who hadn't be in your shoes. we think u'd change. eventhough we say hai to each other when we meet. the hai now is different. not like it used to be.
im scared,its scary
i dont like the sense of losing control. i like to be in control. it's just the way i am since before. is it the first child's sydrome?! anyone?!!
i dont like a major changes to happend in my life. i like a normal life. not to plain not to colourful. its just NORMAL.
but what if its fated. what if it is my destiny. will i be able to change it. can i alter my life that had been plan by ALLAH.
whatever it is. im supposed to try my best first right?! im not gonna try. but i will do my best. i'l boost all my energy for this exam. i hope i can make it. but i know one thing for sure. that ALLAH will always Helps those who help themselves.
so i dont wanna missed that chance. i will try to grab it. with best weapon that i have.
by studying smart,hard, and always pray to ALLAH. tawakal.