counting days~caution! anda mungkin akan rasa loya dgn kejiwangan saya

i guess a lot of people might feel sick reading my blog as i always write about LOVE.
ya la. the day is getting so near and i cant really hide the feeling that i am so happy and cant wait to face the day.
i know that it is just an engagement. not even a wedding yet.
but u know. im a girl.
a big one.
and i cant really stop from dreaming of marrying 'the one'.
mama said that u only get marry once in yourlife. insyaAllah ma.
i definitely pray that this relationship will last forever.
and i will o my best to mantain it.
this is a serious matter.
and im not fooling around.

the meaning of love

-cinta-

that day u asked me, "what do u mean by LOVE?"

my answer was, "it is the feeling of caring and respect"

u were not satisfied with that answer.

and when i asked u back. u said "love is to be able to care about somebody without having any real reason"

today i am still standing with the same opinion.

that love is when u learn to respect that person.

but today i would like to add more

i would like to say that love is about respect, and it is about how u accept that person for whom they are, they were and what they will be.

love is pure.

it don't need a reason.

u care about that person and wanting to accept him.

and at the same time u hope that, that person will also accept u for who u are.

love is when u smile and cry together.

u share everything together. without the feeling of boringness.

u enjoy with it.

it is infinity. everyone have their own opinion.

it's ok.

im happy with what i'm feeling right now.

it makes me shine and bloom.

i pray that this feeling will last forever.

people change. but love. it hold us together.

even when everything is changing.

thanx dear~

tima kaseh encik fairuz.even it is made from tissue.i still love it.i appreciate evrything that u do

shopping is the best therapy- a real shopaholic!!

shopping is the best therapy. i dont really know wether shopping can really be the best therapy. after all, when u shop u'll be spending a lot of money. then u'll be more stress. but last week i did went for a shopping therapy. i didnt buy anything expensive. i only bought a cushion for rm10. but it really made me feel better. the stress is gone. even it is only for that moment of time. but it did goes away.

the conclusion=shopping really sooth me.hehehe..!!

so next time, i'll do it more.

saya naik bus ni pi kb mall.hehe..agaklah 'chantek'. i think they need to upgrade this facilities.it's very2 cheap. but hopefully next time it can be more conducive

teman shopping saya, inside the bus. muka penuh habok and asap

noddy-my shopping partner.hehehe

now it's time to talk about PROFESSIONAL exam

i just finish my test just now. so should i say i feel damn relieve because it's over. tp kan the countdown to my PRO exam is getting lesser and lesser. lagi 24 hari ja. so i guess it's not the right time for me to feel relieve la. i hate exam. i hate presenting the case in front of doctors. i like suprises. but not this kind of suprise.

if they tell that is the case then i can prepare. then i'll feel better. what if i were to get the case that is not clear. that i cant diagnosed. that i cant perform the physical examination correctly. i dont like that feeling. i dont wanna have to repeat. it's a painful experience. u'l change once u have to go through that moment. i can see it from the corner of my friends who had gone through it. u wont see it clearly. but somehow u know they change. may be they feel like they dont belong with us who havent gone through it. may be they are just adapting.

but somehow u'll get more mature when u had it. u learn to handle stress. u are much much more ready and experienced when u were to face problems. but for us who hadn't be in your shoes. we think u'd change. eventhough we say hai to each other when we meet. the hai now is different. not like it used to be.

im scared,its scary

i dont like the sense of losing control. i like to be in control. it's just the way i am since before. is it the first child's sydrome?! anyone?!!
i dont like a major changes to happend in my life. i like a normal life. not to plain not to colourful. its just NORMAL.
but what if its fated. what if it is my destiny. will i be able to change it. can i alter my life that had been plan by ALLAH.

whatever it is. im supposed to try my best first right?! im not gonna try. but i will do my best. i'l boost all my energy for this exam. i hope i can make it. but i know one thing for sure. that ALLAH will always Helps those who help themselves.
so i dont wanna missed that chance. i will try to grab it. with best weapon that i have.

by studying smart,hard, and always pray to ALLAH. tawakal.

-friends forever-

exam lagi!

saya penat

pnt sgt

bila exam nak habis ni

dah tak larat

TAPI

pas habis exam ni

i still got another exam to go through

i hope everything's gonna be fine

this exam will be determine wether i can actually proceed to the next level

i'm scared to enter 4th year, to get to handle a real patient

am i capable of doing it

but i'm sick of learning medical stuff

i wanna focus to things that i'd actually chose

i'd spend 3 years learning medical stuff

it is time for me to learn to be a real dentist

but first

i have to go through 'this' first

i hope everyone will pray for me

for us

for SUCCESS

kepenatan study week, lalu tumbuh jerawat yang besar,lalu bosan n bercakap telefon

nodi yang bijak lagi kuat study

bakal professor dean dr sya

all the best everyone

exam! exam! all the best everyone. i hope we all will strive and achieve what ever we had and always dream of.

i'l pray for u

SINCERELy. i will.

ALL THE BEST!!!

exam mood-ting tong-chenta chenta

exam mood?!! izzit?!! am i in the exam mood. its almost 5am in the morning and im stuck on in front of the pc typing, surfing, and most of the time wandering into other people's blogs. without actualy have the exact things to do. i should study now. not wasting my time writing on a blog that people dont actually even give a peek

have u ever feel distress until u r not stress anymore. i think the stress is so much that i am already disensitized to it.

being a dental student who actually have to compulsarily learn medical kinda distress me a lot. anyway i'd gone almost 3 years of learning em.knda have enough stress that i cant feel any stress any more. that is so so bad. i need the stress now to urge me on studying more more hard than before. this exam will actually determine wether i can further my study to nex sem or not. i should study. mesti study.berusaha! berusaha!

i cant wait until this june. where i had pass my exam n just getting ready for the big day.hm.cant wait.eventhough the big day stil dint allow me to do the thing that i cant do now.im still lookng forward it..wish me luck ok!!!its a big phase in my life. its a promise that must be fulfill due to respect and love.

i think i should stop being on the air right now.its not the time yet. i need to focus..

F.O.C.U.S

but still i cant stop thinking of the day.hehe..sayang... i cant wait..everyone! please pray for me.

for my HAPPINESS n SUCCESS.

i'm proud

dr rozieta read my blog. i should be proud. n i should right more. may be i can be a great writer some day. thanx doc!! i'm gonna be a dentist who writes. interesting huh!

him n me

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The article that makes me cries

Every week my Angah will buy a copy of mingguan wanita, a magazine for women. For a 21 yet to be 22 year old lady like me, which ain’t married yet, its quiet weird to read such an adulthood magazines. Normally people at my age will be busy reading magazines on the latest fashion, the latest gossips and etc (mingguan wanita also have news on fashions and gossips). But our Mama had thought to read things that have useful information. Instead of reading those entertainment magz, we r asked to read mags with infos that we can use in the future.

So last month I read an article by Dr. Rozieta Shaari, a motivator, who writes a column ‘rahsia cemerlang’ in that magazine. I forget the title though. She wrote that, during her wedding, her father looked sad and gloomy. She didn’t know the reasons. But she wondered whether her father didn’t like her choice of man or he didn’t want her to get married. She didn’t understand the reasons. Her father was supposed to be happy and delighted that his daughter is getting married and will never become a burden to the family anymore. She didn’t question her father but after almost 20 years of marriage she finally found the answer.

It is her daughter who will get marry and now her husband looks worry, sad and gloomy. Then she understands, its not that his husband don’t like their daughter to get married. Instead, he’s worried of some other things. Whether that guy who just know her daughter for a couple of years will love her the way he do. He questioned himself whether that guy will starve just to let her daughter to eat? Will he work all days and night just to make sure his daughter live comfortably? Will he be patient with her daughter? Will that guy do what he had done in order to protect his daughter? All of these makes him worried and thus looks as he hates the marriage to go on. After cherishing his daughter with all of his love for many years, he now had to let go his daughter to a man who just know his daughter. It is hard for him but he knows he had to do it. Their daughter has grown up and will have her own family. Together with the new guy, they will try to build what she and her husband built, a FAMILY. They will have their own responsibilities. Soon they will have their own children and will also feel the same things.

What makes me sad was to think that my father might also think the same things. Now when ever my Sayang calls my Abah, he will somehow answer like he hated him. I used to wonder and question myself the same thing. But after reading that article, I cried and understand the reason why he acted that way. I changed my perception towards my Abah. May be he felt the same thing about my Sayang. Abah might not hate my Sayang but he’s wondering whether my Sayang can take care of me just the way he did.

May be u didn’t cry after reading this. May be I just had a sensitive heart and soul. But somehow with that article I learned that even though Abah is cold, answering ‘ehemm’ with all of my stories and sometime ignoring my questions, I know that it is just his way of loving. May be he just don’t want to revealed his true feeling. May be he just don’t wanna show how he felt. Any way, I love u Abah. I might not say it to your face. But I do. I really do. And I love u to Mama. Thank for taking care of me, for being patient with my unstable emotions, for supporting every single steps that I had taken, for giving useful advices that make who I am today, for EVERYTHING. I LOVE BOTH of U with ALL my heart. THANK U!

my dearest mama and abah

Sayang, I hope our love will end with a knot that not just will cause us to have to see each others face until we die. But it’s a knot that makes us ONE where we will have to learn on making decisions and everything together. It’s a relation that let us to accept each other for whom we are and what we will be. It let us learn to respect each other. I hope we can get through it even though we are not even near it yet. I love u Sayang. Always do!

meaning of true shopaholic

while im going true sophie kingsella's novels, i was thinking on the real meaning of shopaholic. i was thinking wether i can consider myself a shopaholic.

can shopping calmed u??

that day when we were shopping in kl. there was this intuition in myself. iwas thinking on my savings my future.will i have enough money to survive and everything. instead of focusing on the things so called shopping, i doubt myself with questions on wether i should spend money or not


i guess i wasnt a true shopaholic if i had that feelings rite?! i dont know!!! watching my friends grabbing, and pulling the shirts from pile of more shirts with tags of 50%. i wasnt sure wether i should do the same.well tat is what i used to be.digging and digging.hunting for places with big 50%tags on it.making decisions in like less than 5seconds. and spending on tat i'd already got. but at tat moment this intuition cause me to just stand there and look at my friends. even my angah was going crazy over the sales there (which was very weird for someone named angah!!.sorry angah)


anyway. can i say tat i hv REAL shopaholic friends.hehe.sya n nody.its a compliment for u girls actually

am i??!!

what makes me feel this way.am i getting more matture in making judgement in my life.i still wonder myself.

i just hope that feeling can actually help me to save some money.i should learn on how to manage my finances.instead of going shopping and spending all of my money. so tat in future i wont be spending all of my salary juz for shoppin.i should be more mature as i will have my own family later right. can u imagine me still a shopaholic married to another shopaholic husband.how are we suppose to manage our family.

but still tat moment didnt last for so long.when we were in mid valley.i made a quick decision on buying a pair of rm215 skechers (which im wearing rite now).why wasnt that intuition come again at that time.arghh!! i thought im getting more matured.what a lie! . after paying for the shoes, my heart felt it again.it was saying is it worth for u to buy shoes with that price.its juz gona stay at ur feet.n ur feet not gaoing to say thank u noorole.for buying me such a lovely shoes.(i think i heard my feet saying thank u for buying such a shoes for them before i paid.but why cant i hear it now).luckily, i made a right decisions.that shoes was a heavenly for my feet.i didnt feel that pain on my heels when standing anymore. but wearing tat shoes makes me feel worried everytime i'd to take out before going into the mussola or mosgque. im afraid some one will steal them.hehe..now i wonder on how long will this shoes last

a true shopaholic wont be doubting with feeling of guilty after they buy something. maybe they wil.but not for long. plus. they'l buy things that they alreary had.like shoes,shoes and shoes. they'll have things with price tags on, not scheduled to be wear at anytime soon.

i dont think im a true one right now.the feeling is there. but im tryingmy best to at least reconsider before actually buying something.hope i can hold this feeling.
my weakness for now is food.ican still get over it.if it is spending money for foods.then i didnt even care how much i'l have to pay.as long as im satisfied with it.can it be considered as a shopaholic or foodaholic.hehe..

kay-el! shopping...eating...everything

that day i went shopping in kl.well im a damn shopaholic.i dunno exactly how much i ve spend.but i can say tat i'd spend alot.on foods there.on my new great skechers.jeans.
i feeel like buying anything under the sun. but i guess i can still control my eagerness to shop n juz buy buy n buy.hehe.but on that trip i realized that my dearie friends sya n nodi are much much more true shopaholic than me.hehe.sorry girls.thats juz how i felt that day.

anyway.kl is not a place for living.juz like wat my syg said.u can go there sometym.shopping like crazy.eat like theres no more food. but u juz cant stay there. it was too hectic for me.eventhough i like urban life.i dont think i can manage the stress of traffic jam, waiting for the busses.n plus the food there are much much more expensive then what i can find in sp.

i feel great im staying in sp.

we went to sunway. n it was suck. it was not a place for a muslim like me.im not making a statement tat im a very2 religious person. its juz tat i felt disrespect when i'd paid the same amount like others but was not allow to go on the slides.juz becos im not wearing shorts.wut a reasons.for me sunway is not a place to have fun.huhu

pro pro pro

there are another 89 days til pro.i cant believe it.i think i've only prepared like5% or even less.hahahhaa..im getting crazy.last holiday was full with rnjoying stuffs tat i forget to study aiyak..shopping,dating watching movies thats all i've done.huhu..everyone.plis give me advice and courage so tat i can still be strong to study for my exam.hm..my plan after pro was even bizzare.there are a lots of stuff and thngs to do.place to visits and manymore.the list are endless. but i must first go through the exam and pass it with flying colours.insyaallah. well everyone plis pray for me k..pray tat we'll together success in everythg tat we do.mmuah..love u all

saya syg kamu

well syg u stole my heart..and im loving it...

-kat sini ada kamu!!-noorole

celebrating raya

selamat hari raya to everyone.maaf zhr batin.im hoping for a blissful raya..full with happiness and forgiveness
tok juz went through an operation to remove her cataract.its a minor surgery but i still hope everything will be fine. i hope she's able to c clearly by the time raya came.
hm.this year i got to celebrate raya with all those new -special people in my life.
adik hezryn, adik arash..and sayang who i love with all my heart
to all my friends who's celebrating raya far far away from this country. enjoy ur raya there. not every yr we got to celebrate raya elsewhere.plus, i will miss u guys so much.
fathiah,ida,fina,and many more.

i havent been updating my blog for a really long time.eventhough no one read it.huhu..
right now all i can say is that im so happy to have him with me. thanx dear!!

The Confident that I Gain

I did it!! What did I do?? Actually, I finally had the courage to talk in front of people. Although there were only 60 people, but i feel so proud of myself. It is the most scary thing that I ever think of doing.
It might not be a big thing to certain people but for me it is a pretty big thing. As i never had the courage to do such thing. I don't know why I feel so scared standing in front of people. I don't feel confident because i'm not smart, not pretty and not good in english. I'm scared that I will stumb during the presentation. I'm scared that I will look stupid in front of other people. I'm scared that people will not understand what I'm trying to tell them.

I wanna be brave and to be able to speak in front of people

Yesterday I did it, Nasyitah and I had represent my group to present the oral diagnosis seminar. Initially, i wasn't the one selected for the presentation. It was someone else. But due to symphaty and empathy to my dearest friend who was not ready to speak in front of everyone, I voluntered myself to do it. I was so scared at first. I feel inferior that people will judge me ( as there were also great presenter in my group ) but somewhere somehow i got the courage to actually do it. It was the clinical year who make me feel so encouraged to do it.
I thought about the clinical year where we are suppose to present our case in front several doctors ALONE. It was quite scary. Therefore, I took the chance to embrace myself with this experience. I want to get myself ready. I want to gain the confident. I don't want to feel scared anymore. I want that courage.

I wanna be confident

Eventhough Nasyitah was there, and the lecture theatre was pretty small. I still feel satisfied after doing it. There was a saying, 'your enemy is your greatest fear', that's what making me feel so eager on doing the presentation. And I am not ashamed to say that I feel proud of myself. In the future, I'm hoping that I'll be more confident to do it. You are not suppose to feel scare of anyone and anything beside ALLAH. That's also the reason why i feel so eager to do it again later.
'Ya ALLAH please let me gain the confident. I'm not trying to be over confident, I wanna be moderate, like U always want us to be. AMIN'

Lazyness

i have been very lazy lately. i don't even know why. i'd asked several of my friends wether they had the cure for my disease. any drug, any vitamin that can work. and then i came across i one my friend's friend. she introduced me spirolina. she claimed that this thing can make u feel more energetic and cure the 'disease' that i had.
So, i browse through the internet for infomation on spirolina. Wether i t had any side effects and so. I found out a lot of thing. The thing about internet is that u never know which infomation u should take, and which one u should discard. Therefore, i still don't know wether i will try on spirolina because i came across a facts that it contains dirt from insects and so. I don't know wether it's true or not. But i'm still considering it. I got exhausted too easily, and i think i need help. Can anyone help??!!

the thing about exam

ONE DAY BEFORE MY EXAM. and here i am, updating my blog. i hate study week. i know that tis is the time for us to cover everything up before the real exam. it's juast that revising and doing nothing but study make me bored.
the whole week was full with studying, no tv, no shopping, no nothing. luckily my room got full internet coverage. at least i did not feel so 'katak di bwh tempurung' at this time.
anyway, that was one of the reason why i am not studying right now.hehehe.. so busy with the internet.

i hope i can do better this time (everyone!! please pray for me) compare to the last exam which was a total SUCK!!
hopefully luck is on my site right now.

if somehow i am not lucky again. i hope i'll in the professional 2.

please pray for me ya all!!